What could possibly be more bonkers wonderful than the idea of a bunch of pasty indie rockers and tons of their fans aboard a cruise? Probably nothing. I have never wanted to bear witness to – and write about – anything more in my life.

Weezer and theme-cruise kings Sixthman have teamed up for THE WEEZER CRUISE – a four-day floating festival that’ll sail from Miami to Cozumel on January 19-23. More info at
www.theweezercruise.com.

But lest you think that “Hey, I’d really like to hear Weezer (“The Blue Album”) and Pinkerton in their entireties, as well as b-sides and greatest hits while drinking cocktails on the Carnvial Destiny ship sailing the Caribbean, but IS THAT ENOUGH?”, Rivers & Co. have searched land and sea and tour schedules to bring together a ton of bands including a ton of Lou Barlow: Lou will be doing TRIPLE duty on board playing sets with Sebadoh and Dinosaur Jr, as well as solo stuffs. And J. Mascis will also be going solo! That’s right, Sebadoh and Dinosaur Jr will be ON THE SAME BOAT TOGETHER FOR FOUR DAYS. *head explodes*

In fact, Lou said it the whole thing was “some signs of the apocalypse shit, right there” on Facebook, but then proceeded to tell me after that he’s actually kinda excited by the idea. SO. AM. I.
Also joining the bill is – YAYYYYYYYYYYY! (waves arms about like Kermit the Frog on the Muppets) – UK band and my faves, Yuck, Gene Ween (and Ween bassist Dave Dreiwitz), The Antlers, as well as Wavves (I mean, with a name like that?), and friends to the BackstageRider, The Nervous Wreckords (Brian Karscig from LouisXIV’s band). Boom Bip, Free Energy, Ozma, The Knocks, Sleeper Agent, Yacht Rock Revue and Keepaway will also be rockin’ the poopdeck.

Multiple stages, Weezer-themed games (“Quick, everyone, let’s play Destroy The Sweater! Hold this thread and then walk away!”), and the potential for seeing Rivers Cuomo playing Bingo, J. Masics at the buffet table, Lou Barlow lounging by the pool, and the poor, spindly, translucent Brits in Yuck hiding in shadows whilst trying not to burn? I cannot type this enough: THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME.

Now I just have to find a way to get there. UPDATE, JULY 21: I AM GOING TO BE ON THE BOAT. I will also be bankrupt. But I WILL BE ON THE BOAT. BOOKED!

If YOU want to go, tickets start at $799/per person for a double cabin or $599 for four friends travelling together. Sign up for pre-sale info at www.theweezercruise.com. Pre-sale will begin on July 21 and cabins will go on sale to the general public on August 3.

And in the meantime….Hi! I’m Mikala! I’ll be your Cruise Director on this (I) Love (Indie) Boat! I’m here to present:

The BackstageRider Imaginary Soundtrack EP to the Weezer Cruise:

• Weezer – Islands in the Sun (I couldn’t find a playable link for “The Cruise” but, duh, that’s obvious)
• Dinosaur Jr – Does It Float?
• Sebadoh – Drama Mine (or Ride the Darker Wave or yeah, Ocean, o’course)
• Yuck – Cousin Corona (‘cos the boat’s going to Mexico, geddit?)
• The Nervous Wreckords – Doin’ it to Do It
• Wavvves – King of the Beach
• Ween – Ocean Man

Dinosaur Jr pic by Chris Gersbeck and Gene Ween pic by Kris Krug.