What makes the Vaselines fab? It wasn’t just the epic, 21-song list featuring cutting, alt-pop delights like “Molly’s Lips” (eventually covered by that band from Seattle called Nirvana – Cobain was an avowed fan). Present and accounted for were also tracks like “Sex with an X”, “I Hate the 80s” (“What do you know? You weren’t there. It wasn’t all Duran Duran, Duran Duran. You want the truth? Well, This is it, I hate the ’80s ’cause the ’80s were SHIT.”), “Bitch”, “Ruined” and 7 out of 10 from Dum-Dum (all except “Teenage Superstars”, “No Hope” and “Lovecraft”). But what really made the Vaselines show even more enjoyable was the piss-taking. Definitely the piss-taking.
During the long set filled with more three-minute gems than you could wave a Scottish flag at (the guy in the front wore his as a cape), Frances managed to playfully poke fun of how the very rad opening act, Loch Lomond, pronounced their own name (“It’s Loch LO-Mund, not Lock Le-Monde, so you’ve already screwed that up”), how Eugene and guitarist Scott “last night actually played back to back during the guitar solo” (causing Eugune to plead with his eyes at Scott, begging him NOT to repeat it at tonight’s show), or, you know, the size of Eugene’s balls.
In return, Eugenius pointed out that bassist Graeme, while old enough to be “Frances’ child”, couldn’t have come from the two of them, “because we never had sex” and now, it wouldn’t even be possible, because “Frances’ ovaries are shrivelled up.”
Listen, bands, yeah pop gems are important. But banter’s also important. Stop looking at your shoes and mumbling. I need to hear more about ovaries and balls.\m/